A likely situation to encounter in the business world is getting fired from a job. Initially, this event may not seem sympathetic when heard or read, but it is a situation that many people experience.

The company may be in the process of layoffs, your department may be closing down, or there may be a manager who wants to bring in new people through restructuring… Regardless of the reason, the sad and disappointing experience cannot be eliminated by any means, of course.

Whether you are a workaholic devoted to your job or you simply don’t like your job, it doesn’t matter; the feeling of being laid off heavily affects your psychology.

In addition to the emotional turmoil caused by getting fired, the reactions from the people around you and their constant attempts to gather detailed information further agitate and annoy you.

When someone you know tells you they no longer work, Empathy Matters: Five questions you shouldn’t ask someone who has been laid off:

“Oh, how did it happen?”

Not everyone wants to tell you in detail what happened. Especially if you consider the situation experienced by someone who has just left a job, don’t make them relive the same memory again and again.

“Did you resign or were you fired?”

Human beings, by nature, are curious and want to learn every detail. If they are no longer working at a place, there are already two options. Don’t choke the person by asking these questions. You can analyse what happened based on their behaviour or way of speaking.

“Oh, really? It was going so well, though.”

Don’t do that; the person no longer works there, so don’t make them feel remorseful. You know the difference between what is seen from the outside and what is experienced inside; therefore, you may not know what happened while they were working.

“So, what will you do now?”

Let the person breathe a little, let them clear their mind, and let go of the negative emotions they have. Believe me, they are thinking about what to do more than you asking them. Don’t create additional stress for them.

“Did they finally realise that you weren’t working?”

You probably want to make a joke with a sentence like this, but jokes also have their time and etiquette. When the person is in a certain mood due to the situation they experienced, jokes can be misunderstood and cause heartbreak. Therefore, if you want to bring some joy to the atmosphere, think a few times before making a comment.

You may want to avoid hurting anyone with your questions and may be thinking of comforting the other person. Unfortunately, these types of questions, rather than comforting the person, further burden and stress them. 

Therefore, if someone shares the information of leaving a job with you, don’t push them and say, “If you want to talk about it, I’m here,” that’s enough. 

There is no point in constantly asking questions and digging into the incident. After all, this situation is not the first time it has happened to the other person, and it won’t be the last either. Besides, you may experience such a memory yourself. 

Therefore, if you show some empathy and behave carefully, they will tell you how the conversation went, what they felt, and what they want to do.